Victim Blaming

I've just been reading some stories on the website of my local newspaper. I encountered a story about a woman who was sexually assaulted by a male friend of hers. They were both drunk. She fell asleep and awoke to find his hand down her pants. He's been spared a jail sentence.

That alone worries me, but what worries me even more is the attitude towards sexual assaults and rape. Here is a screenshot of the only comment that was beneath the article:

What worries me EVEN more is that I 'red arrowed' this comment, only for somebody else to clearly like what this numpty has said, knocking it back to a neutral zero. ('Numpty' is a far tamer word than several that are going around in my head right now...)

I agree that whilst drunk you are less responsible for your own actions, and that, is dangerous. But why should women live in fear of getting drunk just in case they're subjected to a horrific sexual assault? You should be able to live your life the way you want without fear of being violated so atrociously. Regardless of the fact that the perpetrator is sorry, he still did it.

How progressive does society have to be before we can eradicate or at least significantly reduce the numbers of crimes like this? Women are not sex objects. We are not there as playthings. We have rights and feelings and the same freedoms as men, so why are so many people blaming victims of rape for their own misfortune? Why not blame the disgusting creatures that commit these crimes? 

Women should be allowed to dress how they like, drink as much as they like, be friends with whoever they like, do whatever they like (within reason... Obviously...) and live their lives with the same freedom that men do. Just because we're different to men doesn't mean to say that we have to be treated as lesser members of society.

Put yourself in the shoes of a rape victim. Imagine how on earth that must feel. To be a victim of such a horrific crime that essentially ruins, or significantly changes your life. Then imagine what it must be like to receive little or no sympathy from others and to be blamed for your own sexual assault... And THEN vilified for a myriad of trivial matters that seemingly caused the perpetrator to single you out for their disgusting act.

From personal experience, I know what it's like to be overpowered by a man. Thankfully, things never went that far, but wires were well and truly crossed and things nearly got out of hand. I was left shaken and fearing any intimacy afterwards. It has had a huge impact on me, yet the man involved probably doesn't even remember it or regard it to be a serious matter. To have a man try and force himself on you is suffocating, it's scary and it's sickening that they see you in that way; as a object to copulate with. Nothing more, nothing less. 

I am aware that this comment is from somebody entirely insignificant with views that I disagree with on a news website. I am also aware that I am an idiot for letting it get to me and writing this blog post in the first place. But I've had enough of misogyny, victim blaming and oppression. 

Why can't we all just get along?

Daily Mail - Women 'To Blame' For Being Raped

The Guardian Says It Far Better Than I Ever Could...

...As Does The Independent 

N.B. Upon checking the aforementioned article again, the comment has now received 12 likes. Ridiculous. 
Who are these people with vile views and why are they allowed to comment on news sites, encouraging other impressionable people to agree with their horrid opinions... Thus causing society to regress to a misogynistic wasteland?

GAMSAT IS OVER! (For now...)

It's been far too long since I've written anything on here; and I apologise for that.

It's just, you see, I've been a little busy with all the GAMSAT malarky. But it's over now! And I feel a bit strange... Relieved yet worried. 

I sat GAMSAT at Ponds Forge International Sports Centre in Sheffield. It's really near the train station; so my walk (which made me feel like a dead woman walking...) was relatively quick. My admission ticket said to be there for 8:15, and like the Square that I am, I got there at 8:14.

The queue to the Sports Hall was MASSIVE. I was quite surprised that there were so many people sitting the exam. The Sports Hall was full; and they had to put people in two separate meeting rooms in addition to this.

The Sports Hall at Ponds Forge

One thing I learned very quickly is that there's a lot of bureaucracy surrounding the exam. Lots of talking about rules etc. You also (and I didn't know this before) have to keep your admission ticket and ID on your desk throughout the exam.

And you get a rather nice stamp on your hand; which reads: 'Inspected'. Nice. It took thoroughly washing my hands sporadically throughout the day and having a bath before bed to just about get rid of it.

'Inspected'

I can't really tell you that much about the content of the exam because we were kind of sworn to secrecy... I can tell you though, that I had questions about medical ethics and organic chemistry in abundance.

As you probably already know, the exam is split into three different parts:

Section I - Reasoning in the Humanities and Social Sciences,

Section II - Written Communication,

Section III - Reasoning in the Biological and Physical Sciences.


Section I is an hour and a half, Section II an hour (You have to write two essays in that time frame) and Section III is a whopping three hours long!

You get an hour's lunch break between Sections II and III; and, like me, most people chose to go outside and get a little fresh air. In fact, one poor lady had what looked like a panic attack outside the doors because of the sheer strain of the exam.

This is not the aforementioned poor lady...

I was fine during Section I - which leads me to think I did quite badly. Usually the better I think I performed in an exam; the worse my grade ends up being.

I'll admit that I panicked quite a bit during Section II - I prepared for this section in the wrong way. I read lots of newspapers; books relating to Social Sciences and the like; but I didn't practice the writing side of things enough. So, my mind went a bit blank and I started to panic; but I recovered and rambled on about a load of rubbish; which also leads me to presume that I won't do all that well...

Section III on the other hand ended up being a bit of guesswork in parts. I did what Griffiths' GAMSAT Review suggests and guessed 'C' (apparently, there's ever so slightly more chance of guessing correctly if you choose the answer that's 'C'). There were things I recognized and a lot of things that threw me a little. I'm not holding my breath.

At the end of the day, all I did was my best. I was so nervous about Section III that I did consider scarpering during the lunch break; but I would have been so disappointed with myself if I had. It's not my style to abandon things before I succeed; I'm too stubborn like that.

Results are out at the 'end of November'. Oh I love how elusive ACER are.

To The Person...

...Who ended up on my blog after Googling: 'Old men dirty sex',

Thank you.

You have given me a proper giggle!

It's Here!

Just a quick post to show you what arrived this morning!

It's official! I'm on the NHS Organ Donor Register.

Organ Donation

Today I did something important; something that I'd been thinking about doing for a long time, but never really had the guts to do: I finally got round to joining the NHS Organ Donor Register.

There's been a huge upsurge recently in the number of people signing up to it; because of publicity and media campaigns, which is fantastic news. But, there are still so many people who don't even want to think about it.

The reason that people avoid joining it, are, I assume, the same as my own reason for delaying joining it for so long: It forces you to face up to your own mortality.

I'm 21. I don't want to have to think about dying. It scares me to think that I could leave the house one morning and never return.

However, one of the main reasons that swayed my opinion is that if I were ill and needed a transplant; I'd expect it. You can't expect a gift from someone if you aren't willing to sacrifice the same if needed, surely?

I don't like it when people get all 'preachy', so I'll spare you that. I'm just saying, we all only have a limited amount of time to live, and, unfortunately, for some of us, that time is more limited than we'd like to think. Accidents happen, acute illnesses occur and sometimes our lives end prematurely. 

Giving someone who's gravely ill the gift of life from beyond the grave is one of the greatest gifts you can give, isn't it?

For as long as I can remember, my Dad's carried an organ donor card. I can even remember him trying to explain it to me when I was an inquisitive young child. Without people willing to give their organs up for donation, there wouldn't be pioneering advances in transplant surgery and there most certainly wouldn't be people here now without them.

If you'd like to join the register, or find out more, go to: http://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/
(Opens in new window)

Urgh NHS Jobs

I'm sure you will have guessed from the title that I'm talking about the NHS Jobs website.

I seem to have spent endless hours on this website over the past year. (Albeit less frequently recently).

As an aside, I haven't applied for any jobs for about a month now, and it's been wonderful!

If you're not familiar with the website; it's basically where people (existing NHS Employees or the rest of us mere mortals) can apply for jobs within the NHS.

I've lost count of the number of jobs that I've applied to through this website. I'm grateful for its ease, but sometimes it's infuriating.

I have the daily job email from them; where they send me an email every evening with the new jobs in my area that have been advertised. Yesterday, there was an advert for two new Receptionists to work at my local ED. It said that the deadline was the 22nd April and that potential applicants would benefit from an informal visit, so should email or call the relevant people (blah, blah, blah...)

So, I thought: 'Oh, I'll email tomorrow'.

I don't normally go for these informal visits, but this job advert genuinely interested me.

Low and behold, I checked again this evening to get the email address of the contact when I see:

'PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS POST WILL BE CLOSING EARLY AT 12NOON TODAY (FRIDAY 12 APRIL 2013)'

The bumholes.

This isn't the first time NHS Jobs have done this. It's so annoying!! You're forced into applying for jobs that you really want immediately because you're worried that they'll be taken down by the next time you check.

Now I appreciate the employers might well have an unexpectedly large number of candidates applying, but surely doing this is a bit... mean?

Hmmm.

Hmmm. Today's been a bit of a crap day to be honest.

Four hours sleep. Then I spent half the afternoon sitting on my bum in front of the fire whilst eating cornflakes and watching comedy on TV to try and alleviate my bad mood.

I went on a wild goose chase too. All around the city to get my Mum an iPad. (She was paying, I was just picking it up for her...)

When I got home, I still felt crap: bad mood, hungry, tired, fed-up etc. I could go on (but shan't for fear of boring you all to death...)

Whilst on my wild goose chase, I picked up some pick and mix. First time I've had it in about ten years. That seems to be helping keep me a little cheerier; that and copious cups of coffee.

I had a really good weekend. A family wedding on Saturday and then drinks with my friends on Sunday evening. I had a laugh for an entire two days (back-to-back) for the first time in ages. It was wonderful.

Then today, I came back to earth with a big bump: I received two job rejections. GAMSAT revision is also looming but I seem to be so bad at self-discipline at the moment, I've hardly done anything recently. It's ridiculous. I need to give myself a big kick up the backside; except I don't know how.

Boy and best friend problems also don't help my mood. Why can't everything just be a bit more simple for once?

Still, tomorrow's another day and I've still got about three quarters of a bag of pick and mix to wade through. So it's not all bad... ;)