To The Person...

...Who ended up on my blog after Googling: 'Old men dirty sex',

Thank you.

You have given me a proper giggle!

It's Here!

Just a quick post to show you what arrived this morning!

It's official! I'm on the NHS Organ Donor Register.

Organ Donation

Today I did something important; something that I'd been thinking about doing for a long time, but never really had the guts to do: I finally got round to joining the NHS Organ Donor Register.

There's been a huge upsurge recently in the number of people signing up to it; because of publicity and media campaigns, which is fantastic news. But, there are still so many people who don't even want to think about it.

The reason that people avoid joining it, are, I assume, the same as my own reason for delaying joining it for so long: It forces you to face up to your own mortality.

I'm 21. I don't want to have to think about dying. It scares me to think that I could leave the house one morning and never return.

However, one of the main reasons that swayed my opinion is that if I were ill and needed a transplant; I'd expect it. You can't expect a gift from someone if you aren't willing to sacrifice the same if needed, surely?

I don't like it when people get all 'preachy', so I'll spare you that. I'm just saying, we all only have a limited amount of time to live, and, unfortunately, for some of us, that time is more limited than we'd like to think. Accidents happen, acute illnesses occur and sometimes our lives end prematurely. 

Giving someone who's gravely ill the gift of life from beyond the grave is one of the greatest gifts you can give, isn't it?

For as long as I can remember, my Dad's carried an organ donor card. I can even remember him trying to explain it to me when I was an inquisitive young child. Without people willing to give their organs up for donation, there wouldn't be pioneering advances in transplant surgery and there most certainly wouldn't be people here now without them.

If you'd like to join the register, or find out more, go to: http://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/
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Urgh NHS Jobs

I'm sure you will have guessed from the title that I'm talking about the NHS Jobs website.

I seem to have spent endless hours on this website over the past year. (Albeit less frequently recently).

As an aside, I haven't applied for any jobs for about a month now, and it's been wonderful!

If you're not familiar with the website; it's basically where people (existing NHS Employees or the rest of us mere mortals) can apply for jobs within the NHS.

I've lost count of the number of jobs that I've applied to through this website. I'm grateful for its ease, but sometimes it's infuriating.

I have the daily job email from them; where they send me an email every evening with the new jobs in my area that have been advertised. Yesterday, there was an advert for two new Receptionists to work at my local ED. It said that the deadline was the 22nd April and that potential applicants would benefit from an informal visit, so should email or call the relevant people (blah, blah, blah...)

So, I thought: 'Oh, I'll email tomorrow'.

I don't normally go for these informal visits, but this job advert genuinely interested me.

Low and behold, I checked again this evening to get the email address of the contact when I see:

'PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS POST WILL BE CLOSING EARLY AT 12NOON TODAY (FRIDAY 12 APRIL 2013)'

The bumholes.

This isn't the first time NHS Jobs have done this. It's so annoying!! You're forced into applying for jobs that you really want immediately because you're worried that they'll be taken down by the next time you check.

Now I appreciate the employers might well have an unexpectedly large number of candidates applying, but surely doing this is a bit... mean?

Hmmm.

Hmmm. Today's been a bit of a crap day to be honest.

Four hours sleep. Then I spent half the afternoon sitting on my bum in front of the fire whilst eating cornflakes and watching comedy on TV to try and alleviate my bad mood.

I went on a wild goose chase too. All around the city to get my Mum an iPad. (She was paying, I was just picking it up for her...)

When I got home, I still felt crap: bad mood, hungry, tired, fed-up etc. I could go on (but shan't for fear of boring you all to death...)

Whilst on my wild goose chase, I picked up some pick and mix. First time I've had it in about ten years. That seems to be helping keep me a little cheerier; that and copious cups of coffee.

I had a really good weekend. A family wedding on Saturday and then drinks with my friends on Sunday evening. I had a laugh for an entire two days (back-to-back) for the first time in ages. It was wonderful.

Then today, I came back to earth with a big bump: I received two job rejections. GAMSAT revision is also looming but I seem to be so bad at self-discipline at the moment, I've hardly done anything recently. It's ridiculous. I need to give myself a big kick up the backside; except I don't know how.

Boy and best friend problems also don't help my mood. Why can't everything just be a bit more simple for once?

Still, tomorrow's another day and I've still got about three quarters of a bag of pick and mix to wade through. So it's not all bad... ;)

Best Friend Dilemma.

The clue's in the title really.

I've known my best friend for ten and a half years. I thought that we'd be friends until we were bitter old ladies, sat next to each other in a Nursing Home knitting away and putting the world to rights. However, that's not really the case any more.

For the past few months she's been constantly ignoring me, making excuses not to see me and just generally not being a very good friend.

She spent the majority of last year unemployed after leaving college. I tried to support her then and she pushed me away. I knew she was struggling but she just didn't want my help. I was doing my finals and she was trying to occupy herself by applying for an endless stream of jobs. She got there in the end and has been working full time for the past few months.

She's an incredibly difficult person to know and to get through to. She won't listen and when she really needs a friend, she pushes everyone except close family members away.

I'm the only person that she's regularly in touch with from school. She's disowned the rest of our mutual friends. She says that she can't be bothered with them because they've made no effort with her. They have, she just didn't realise... Or care.

I'm not going to lie, these past few months have been really tough. I've felt so down for such a prolonged period of time and the only people who've consistently been there for me are my parents.

When I think about how little she's supported me, my initial thought is that I'm just being selfish for expecting her support. She just doesn't realise how other people feel and she's definitely unreceptive to the emotions of others. I feel cruel for even saying that. I haven't seen her properly since last year. I didn't even get a Christmas card. She got a Christmas card and presents before Christmas from me. 

She texted me a few weeks ago to tell me that she was ill. I texted her the next day asking if she was feeling better. She ignored me. So after three days I began to get a little worried. I popped round to see how she was (bearing in mind she lives two minutes walk away from my house), and she couldn't wait to get rid of me. She didn't invite me in and blamed me for her dog wetting itself with excitement because I'd turned up unannounced.

I know our friendship has never been a conventional one, but I do at least expect to get a reply to a text within a week. Something that frequently doesn't happen. I'm losing patience with her. 

I honestly don't know what to do. In my heart of hearts, I feel like our friendship is nothing but a chore to her. I'm a burden to her like I am to many others. And best friends shouldn't make you feel like that, should they?

I can't help who I am and how I am. I can't change to a great extent to fit the needs and wants of other people. And to be honest, if being an unemployed loser for the past ten months has taught me anything, it's that I need to stop trying to please others and focus on making myself happier.

What do I do? Accept that she probably just doesn't want to be friends? Keep on fighting a futile battle? Get on with life and focus on other friends? I honestly don't know. Ten years of friendship would go down the toilet if I were to just walk away; but it's as though she doesn't want me in her life anyway.

We're both only children and there's sometimes a battle of wills when it comes to who's going to get their own way. When we were younger, I never used to give in, but nowadays, she tends to get her way. She deliberately makes me feel bad when there's a threat that she's not going to get her own way. For example, on my birthday a couple of years ago, the two of us went to London. I wanted to go on the London Eye because it's something I hadn't done before. She, however, didn't want to because she'd been on it once before with a relative. She said to me: 

"We can go on it if you really want to, but I really don't want to. If you do though, I suppose I'll go along with it..."

What can I say to that? "Yes I'll force you onto the London Eye against your own will and consequently never hear the end of it..." So, no, I gave in and we didn't go on it. She got her way and I've still never been on the London Eye... 

Recently if I've asked if she's free on a certain day, she'll just ignore my messages. So now I don't generally broach the subject of meeting up. I invited her out for drinks with some other friends over the weekend; she declined my offer.  It's just easier to leave her alone than it is to be ignored or rejected.

I asked her yesterday when she might be next free. She's ignored me. She's been on Facebook today, but she hasn't replied to my message; because I'm evidently a hindrance to her...

It makes me feel like I'm being needy. I'm not though, am I? For wanting the girl who's supposed to be my best friend to just reply to my messages every now and again?

I couldn't resist.

Apologies for this incredibly boring, self-deprecating and insecure post, but it's quite cathartic to write it all out... 
It's really just been a huge excuse for me to use an array of cute pictures. Sorry...

Night Nurse

No, this isn't about the cough medicine...

My next door neighbour pretty much disgusts me when he has casual 'relationship' after casual 'relationship' with poor women he scours for in local pubs whilst off his face on an array of strong ales.

Just recently he's had a particular lady over for 'intercourse of a sexual variety' (for the past four weekends out of five). She was even round this Monday but left yesterday morning. In fact, she's back again right now. 

Let's put it this way, not a lot of sleeping goes on.

They had an argument a couple of weekends back when she dared to go outside in front of the neighbours who reside across the road... And now I think I know why...

The lady who lives across the road is a nurse at our local major hospital. So was his 'girlfriend' until recently.

I was reading the news yesterday; when I found an article relating to a nurse who'd been struck off the NMC register because of 'unacceptable behaviour'. This is his girlfriend. The nurse across the road will probably have heard of her and he is clearly ashamed of being seen with her... Poor girl.

Basically, whilst working, she stole a prescription pad, fraudulently collected drugs from the pharmacy on the behalf of patients in her care and stole 200ml of Oramorph from the ward she worked on.

She then took ALL of the Oramorph in one evening and proceeded to go into work the next day; still under the influence, needless to say.

When one of her patients raised the alarm, a colleague found her slumped across the nurses' station fast asleep...

As bad as this is, I do kind of feel sorry for her.

She must have an long-standing addiction to and high tolerance of opiates if she could take that much in one go without going into respiratory arrest, surely?

She was struck off the NMC register earlier this month and that's fair enough because if she was allowed to continue her work as a nurse, it would raise serious concerns and potentially bring the profession and the NMC into disrepute.

She's obviously got problems and she needs to work through those, but she can't be allowed to care for vulnerable patients if she's been so dishonest in the past. At least not until she's healthier.

And as if her life hasn't been bad enough recently, she's now involved with him! Poor woman.